The Meak Muses: 03/01/2005

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Back to work. Yawn!

My contract gal asked why I looked more tired even after the long weekend. I wonder why.. Dread of facing the rat race again?

Had lunch at new Hans in Marina Square. Not crowded now, and it was quite alright. Nothing to shout about.

L has gotten a new bf. Hehe! Quite hunky, I want to see soon. With M, they are hunky and chunky. Nice pair eh..

Mentioned to V, they very fast liao. One month to go steady, one month to get hitched? After all, she did catch the flowers. Darling, if you are reading, hor?? *evil smile.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Millon Dollar Baby

That is M's sister baby daughter. Very cute, pretty and of course, quite well-off too. After all, the father is CEO of a listed company. Lucky baby! Think she's quite smart. For a 2 month old, she is very alert and observant. Doesn't cry much except when she wants milk, or you wake up up from her nap. Big eyes, button nose, she's chubbier now, looking more like Michelin. That really set her parents' and grandparents' minds at ease, that she doesn't look so small now.

Forgot to say the name of the show I caught taping yesterday was "Yuan Lai Jiu Shi Ni".

Was awakened at 9am by some dong dong chaing. Sigh! Just cannot sleep later. Yesterday, was awakened by grass cutting. Why do they always do this on weekend? Like people no need to sleep in.

Went swimming as usual, think I'm never going beyond my 10 laps. Getting quite sick of it too, should try other sports soon.

Went Warrens for dinner, cos M's dad has to redeem what the club charged him in advance. Had Peking duck, skin was quite fat but still not too bad. Loved the shark fins, but then, when have I ever not.

M msg me in the car that next weekend we are going to get the sofa we saw on Friday. Happy! One more step ahead!

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Are you my fate?

Had a walk down Orchard Road today while waiting for M to meet me. Poor guy, he actually did not go in to work today so that he can study.

Meandered all the way from Far East Plaza to Plaza Singapura. One of those days, luckily, when I don't have anything in particular to buy. Except to go bookshop and borrowed a few trashy novels. There was Robinson sale and OG sale. Wanted to buy coloured twin triangles, but as usual, they don't have my size in stock. Woe is meak! Bigger women never seem to have such a problem.

Last stop: Plaza Sing. There was a live taping of a new Channel U dating show. Hosted by Quan Yifeng and Zhong Qin who were both prettily dressed like angels, a guy is supposed to choose 1 of 4 gals to be his date. Think the gals were picked up from the streets. One was Eurasian and there was another quite pretty one who actually worked in my company in IT. She looked in my direction and I thought she recognised me too. Thought she had a boyfriend already, but I only know her by face.

Supposed Meak is going to be on TV too. Cos the camera panned my direction twice when I was in 2 locations. Hehe! When is this show showing ah?

Friday, March 25, 2005

Good Friday

Was a start of another long weekend for me. Not long enough though. Given a choice, I would choose not to go back to work forever.

Went to a few places to see furniture, those warehouse sales that are advertised in the papers. Couple of stuff that we liked, but not so much that we are dying to get it, so we didn't.

Had Ling Zhi for dinner, my favourite vegetarian restaurant. Sad to say, they have increased the price. And you just can't have the buffet anymore. At the more expensive price, you can now order dishes from the menu. But with the 2 of us, you can't eat much anyway.

They never had the sea coconut dessert anymore. But just in case, the custurd roll ran out, I hoarded 5-6 of them first, even before we had the steamboat. Yum yum! Was so full after that, we almost pucked.

Did a henna tattoo around my ankle at a pasar malam store at the night market outside. The friendly Indian woman also lives at CCK, so I joked to her next time I can go to her house to do.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

.............................

When you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start immediately.

What else is there to say.

Monday, March 21, 2005

3 Smaller Ones or 1 Bigger One

Hee, 1 big one is more common lor, but they do shine and are more visible.
3 small ones also shine, in fact they can shine better and could be even more visible.

1 big one stands for 'My one and only'.
3 small ones stand for 'I love you'.

Choices, choices..
But definitely no SK, Taka, Meyson for me. Or even Poh Heng cos their designs sucks.
Definitely GH, the other SK or LH..

Moo says,
GH is General Hospital cos after buying he has to admit himself to get over the shock.
SK is for Siao Kow, cos who is so crazy to buy something so small so expensive except for marrying couples.
LH is for Lau Hong which he will be in the pockets after the purchase.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Island life: Sun & coconut juice

In another life, would like to try working in the Trustees for a change. Bahamas, Jersey or Caymans, eg. Really good and easy unstressed life there. They can take the longest time to do something and once they've done it, you find a lot of things are wrong or they become unresponsive.

Must be too much sun and coconut juice slowed down their intelligence. Pure frustration when I'm caught in between as messager. Duh! Someone take those stuff away from my hands pls.

Wait long long...

Monday, March 14, 2005

Still blue

Uneventful Monday for me, even though I was on leave. The mood I was feeling yesterday kind of carried over to today. Stayed at home, moped around. Late afternoon, went Lot 1 ate chicken wing, takopuchi and drank bubble tea to compensate for the lunch which I didn't eat much due to lack of appetite.

Always dreading my leave is too short and still must go back to work too soon tomorrow.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Depressing Sunay

Think my Sundays are always depressing now. Another bad hit of my pre-Monday blues today. Couldn't help worrying that I'll screw up the project, and that I have no time to devote to hobbies/classes I want to take up cos of long work hours.

M tried to counsel me, but hard to tell him and make him understand everything. Guess he did gave me the g-ahead to quit if I really want. But I have to think of supporting my parents. He mentioned that I want to take the easy way out, which set me to thinking am I too weak and cannot take hardship.

For me, the answer, is quite not. After all, it's only a job and my benefits do not warrant that much stress and responsibility I'm shouldering on. Sigh, since my career luck is not very good. I have no difficulty finding jobs, but I seemed to attract those that are really the ultimate in challenges.

If I quit, I'll be letting my boss and colleagues down. Maybe even myself. Like the previous, I told myself to be stronger and tough it out. But end of the day, it's me and people around me who suffered cos I tend to bring my moods home. Needless to say, my boss has let us down too. But I do not really want to be a job-hopper and seen to be always taking the easy way out.

Would like to go Bakery diploma, but not sure if I can be good at it. Not easy to open and maintain a shop too. After all, M's sister had the experience. She should know.

Not young anymore, shouls pursue my dreams, but it's not clear what I really want. A few years earlier, I may have gone to dance school. Now, sigh........ If I start now, M's family and relatives may have a lot to say. Not a very respectable career...

Saturday, March 12, 2005

And they set off toward the sunset

Today, one of my best friend got married and went on to live her fairy-tale. Offered M's services as a chauffer, and he turned up late despite my repeated reminders. So sick, princess had to take taxi there.

The spot they said their vows is this little spot in front of ROM. Pretty, and it was a warm day, but it was something different. Liked the soundtrack, and wondering what are the titles of the songs. Am always preparing my own song list in my head. M made several wise cracks during the solemnisation, kind of irritating a little but he meant it in good jest. But I told him was not very nice cos her mum and Uncle H were just nearby. Duh....

Lots of pictures were taken, too bad I don't have a good camera. Just couldn't help noticing how deliberate were some of the poses, but not going to say what here.

All in all, it was a good ceremony. And L caught the bridal bouquet, which means she is next. Hee, could be a lightening romance. The Indochine? Hee hee! She was totally blushing, even her back. Funny....

Wonder how's the wedding nite... *Wink wink

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Almost a lioness

Did my hair today, again. It's kind of addictive and costly. Never did I use to pay so much attention to my hair and kept it simple and in its natural black. But since then, I've fallen in love with highlighting my hair as I realised that it makes me look better. Did a light brown colour this time, together with V. Would love to do streaks of bright red and contrast with black, but that would require bleaching (which will dry out my hair and perhaps cause thinning) and some shock experience from the company management. So maybe next time...

Should probably invest in an expensive master cut, cos I'm never quite satisfied with the current style I've kept for some time.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

No mountain too small, no valley too shallow

Had back-to-back conference call on projects the whole morning, can't even go toilet if I want to. Feel crappy, cos I'm literally full of it. Envious of my counterparts in Hong Kong, cos their volumes are 5 times lower than ours and they have slightly less headcount than us. Their responsibilities are also very clear-cut, not like ours, where all the s*^% ends up on our tables.

Boss suggested we put up a sign at our new desks to indicate our team's location. Together with a colleague, we have thought of a flag design. White and brown colour. White for surrender, and brown is for the picture of snaily lump of turd, to signify the things we do here. Even he has explained to other team heads (abeit jokingly) that we do everything that our teams do not want to do. So much for encouragement and morale motivation.

Anyway, in the conference, the HEAD of the HK team said she will speak to another team about the new process and asked my boss if HE will do the same for S'pore. Before I could feel relief, he told all that I will handle it.. Little Old Unranked Me! How like him to push everything to me. The HK team has 4 people doing for 2,400 a/cs wheras Me alone am doing 10,000++ a/cs. How ridiculous and obviously overstretched we are here. Really envy how responsible their TH is.

There is no big mountain behind me, only a low valley like me, so low no one can hear....

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Light of my life

My lovable M surprised me with Hello Kitty magnets again, same trick with slight variation. Was 7pm+ when he picked me up from work. Sky was darkening and he told me to wear sunglasses. I found one in the case and exclaimed how nice a M he is. He then whipped out another one from his shirt pocket and said since I already said he is so nice, he doesn't have to give me the other one then. He tried to get it out of my reach, but hehe, isn't he sweet....

The light of my otherwise gloomy life...

My mum's birthday today, finally we are talking...

Sunday, March 06, 2005

A greater gloom

Sundays have been vey bad days for me. It's back to my Sec Ops days when I was always depressed, in pre-Monday blues. Thought I would be happier since my transfer, maybe I am, but most times, I still feel very helpless and upset.

My boss just keeps piling more stuff on my team, when we are already loaded with work that keeps us in the office past 7-8pm every day. My team leader is worse, think she doesn't get off every day before 9pm. Already I have told him many times, we are too busy every time he tells us to do something, he just flip us off.

He is someone who doesn't commit. When we feedback to him about things we shouldn't be doing, he will say he agree and whether he does anything or not, it's another thing. Whenever this is a training, he will say he strongly encourages us, so much so we can predict what he is going to say everytime. His vocab is quite limited.

Did I mention he is also very stingy? Our Xmas present last year is a small combination lock with the company logo. My long timer colleague said it is a free gift from a golf tournament 2 yrs ago. How cheap it that! He never takes us out to dinner. For CNY, my team members had to treat ourselves. Quite sad, we do not feel any appreciate from him. His Thank-Yous are just words, easily dispense.

My pregnant colleague had to work like a dog on her last day of work before going on leave in the same afternoon. That was even after she told him she was not well and had to see the gynae. His response to her was that she had to finish her job before going off. How sympathetic...

He just keep giving us projects to do. Something which makes me feel very helpless and angry. Cos these projects are way out of my expertise and sometimes I just don't know what to do. One of the company's tradition is always to take in new products selling although we do not have the systems nor the resources to handle it. Most times, the management just push it through and the process ends up very manual and burdensome to us lowly office drones.

I wonder why the people in my company works so hard. End of the day, the partners reap the benefits while the rest of us are still paid less then the market rate.

Look at one of my current project, which is about automating an existing process. It was developed 2 yrs ago and has been passed through many hands. We have a project team which has ranked personnel to develop this. This rankedpersonnel gets paid at least 7k a month, and the work she did is just pure crap cos she does not have any knowledge of the process at all.

An external vendor is hired to develop the automation, an engine that's simply soo simplic to handle the logic. Again, it's churned out more manual workfor the rest of us. My team and I wonder why they do not solicit feedback or assistance from the current users or this other very experienced team member of mine who has been managing the process and knows all about the logic.

Strange but it happens in my firm. Now, I have to clean up the poop and make sure the incoming poop does not smell badly. The management has promised to marketing to roll the requirements out by 1st quarter, my boss is always asking me to update him (like how I could when I'm handling other dateline stuff), and now the management says if it cannot be fully automated, we will just hire more people. What mentality.

They finally utilised one of the 2 headcounts I didn't even know we have. My boss is now feeling the heat at this late hour. Gush, if he has been so concerned before, this state would not have happended. As it is, he's been going home early before the rest of us to know how hard we are working. Always thinking we are very capable and not having enough work to do.

My pent-up frustration is so great. M and work, work and M. Just now he grabbed my arm in fun and I wish it will breakor sprain. Then at least, I can have an excuse not to step into office tomorrow.

Also depressed again on not spending enough time with him. I could be at home with him now, instead of he having to send me back and me having to worry about him driving home alone when he falls asleep too easliy. It would have been greatly comforting to be with him. Maybe my job will be more tolerable.

Hate to whine so much, but I can't help it. Blogging it out lightens me up a little. Going to take my depression with me to sleep soon. Having this recurring dream about forgetting to do 20 pages of Chinese homework. Must be lingering job phobia...

Saturday, March 05, 2005

7-11, my latest fave store

Cos of the Hello Kitty magnets, what else! Am just crazy about them, had around 12 designs now, and a couple of frustrating duplicates. Even got one of my colleague crazy about them. Too bad, the store has limited products. My excuse to M is that I like limited range at higher prices. Hee! He cannot stand me but he indulges me still.

Like this afternoon, he picked me up from Paragon and we drove to his grandma's place. He said the sun is very strong and I should put on my sunglasses. Was so puzzled why he is suddenly so concerned and because I was lazy, said it was okay. He became emphatic that I must put on the sunnies. So there I opened the front boot and saw 2 pink Hello Kitty stickers in the sunnies' case. Was so surprised at the surprise. He was just exasperated cos he had to persuade me so hard to reveal his surprise. Hee hee! One other nice memory for us...

Earlier met his good-looking cousin and his family at Heeren. Was caught a bit red-faced, cos I was wearing this revealing top. Didn't dare to bend too much down to pat the naughty's son head. And the wife was looking at the top, I was sure. As it happened, I changed out of the outfit I had worn out in the morning. Always happen. Had a new top I bought yesterday at M'phosis, and just happened also to buy a new denim skirt. Since I was so uncomfortable in my today outfit, I changed out of it completely. Too bad, the cousin had seen me too early. Must have been a bit put out, cos I'm usually not so happening.

Did a facial at V's mum. Haven't seen her for so long. Since Aunt Anne is always busy, had to finally find someone else to do my face. Going to do my hair with V comeing Thursday. Good to see her before the big day too! Wonder what we are going to do on Hen night. Disco, I hope, miss dancing. Many a times, I think I would have seeked a career as a platform dancer if I could turn back the clock. Or some other form of professional dancing. Think it's the only thing I do quite well with a lot of interest.

Wonder how V is feeling, one week to the day. Does she have doubts? Cos it all happen very fast. I still remember the night I first knew A at Newsroom. In fact, in my natural inclination to flirt, I was trying to make a play for him. But I did notice then that he and V are already very much flirting with each other, and A didn't play back to me at all.

Somehow, I just feel that A and V are the most unlikely couple. Cos V has always professed to want someone tall with broad shoulders and her exes all had the same style. But it's already too late lah. M said if he wants to be the devil's advocate, he will introduce a nice friend to her, and see if she is still so steadfast in her marrying A. I just hope V does not regret or rather, she will remain headstrong enough not to regret. Still, I hope 100% it is true love between them. Maybe because she is one of my best and oldest friend, I feel no one is good enough for her. Esp in the beginning of their relationship, he had made her cry a lot, and since then, he has made her change a lot.

This day ended on a whimsical note. M said this morning that if he is not too tired, we would go a night walk at West Coast. We did this a few times when he was still at CS. Alas, he had stayed up till 3am last night cos some of stupid Indian woman in India, one of the company's contact. So in the end, he was tired, as he always is since this job.

It was disappointing, but I don't blame him. Maybe sometimes I do, cos I did and he did think of leaving the job. The time is just always not right. Now because of the CBA's intervention, all the more he should leave. But he can't, cos he has not gotton his pay yet. And we are not sure when he can find a new job.

Just wish we have more time together. Our Fridays and Saturday's are always cut short now cos this job which started out great andnow simply sucks. My wish will be granted if we are married. But without a good job, we cannot complete the house and save for it. So it's like an endless cycle. I'm trying my best to recommend him my contacts and urge him to use his contacts. Cos I foresee my wish will be postponed the more this drags on. To me, now that I know he is the one for me, I want to start our life together asap. Being apart without each other is meaningless.

Another reason why I got so upset when he didn't want to 'bai tai sui'. If we couldn't get any other help, divine help is a consolation. And my dad has already said that this year is very bad for him. He said he can see my marrying this year, but I don't see how.

Excuse me, I need to sigh again....

The Meak Muses