The Meak Muses

When l love someone..

There is a lot of things that I can forgive… these few sightings my frens told me only after they knew I broke up with him..

1) One saw him kissing closely another gal in front of Watsons downstairs.. How close? Since his back was to her, she couldn’t see very well.

2) Another 2 colls saw him walking or talking to a gal, his hand behind her back.. You may think is nothing, but earlier on in our r/ship, he had asked me whether I mind other guys putting their hand behind my back. When I said I don’t mind, he said he minds cos he is a guy and he knows of their intentions when they touch a gal, even something as 'innocent' as a hand behind their back. Hence, I told him "Fine, then I don’t let them touch me." And he agrees fair's fair, he also won't touch other gals. When they throw themselves at him, he will move away..

So I was just so pissed off when my colls told me about this 3rd incident… and that's how I managed to get over him quickly..

3) Guy friend was walking towards the driveway dialling for cab, was late after-office hours.. Saw him walking with another gal towards one of the benches.. At first, he thought it was me. They sat down and the gal lean closely to him. Before his very eyes, his hand snaked around her and 'toot toot' sqeezed her boob twice… My friend was so shocked and wanted to take pictures with his hp, but was too slow. Also didn’t hv my hp number hence couldn’t call me so that I can call the snake back immediately to shock him. Guy friend didn’t know how to tell me, cos it was close to my birthday and he didn’t want to spoil my mood..
All above happened whilst we were still a couple.. Incident 1 & 2, never mind cos were not so serious.. I could still give him the benefit of the doubts, that some man could hv that one special ONE and still flirt with other gals.. Heck, he's an ang moh, and worst, an Italian, proud of his heritage and that Madonna once wore a shirt that said "Italians do it the best."

Fine, so he broke his promise, but… what AUDACITY!!!! If you want to hanky panky with another gal, go find some secret private corner. NOT in the open, at the lobby of our offices, where anyone and everyone going home can see … What total disregard for me!!!! B**T**D… Luckily, I insisted we kept our r/ship private, else…. *Shudder..

He is not even half the man I thought I love.. And if he is the man I love, I can forgive him that.. But never, can I forget that he not only broke his promise, but he broke it in the worst possible way, without thought, without consideration to me, the women he claimed was so impt to him, whom he loves, whom he would spend his lifetime convincing he's my THE ONE… When I broke up with him, my heart was really aching like a piece of it is gone.. Couldn’t eat well, couldn’t sleep well, tears spent thinking of him so much since before Xmas.. But now I know this, the ache is gone..

I would always regret that this could hv been a wonderful r/ship if he was really as sweet as he was when we first got together.. Really I just wanted to show him all the love and care that I had for him.. The "what it could hv been".. The daydreams about meeting his huge family in Napoli during our block leave together, staying with his own apt at the top floor of his family's house.. So easy to remember the times when he was the pretended Prince Charming, missing him so much, so sweet and loving, teasing and tender. So hard to remember how bad he treated me. And when I remembered the real him, I wish he had never thought to try out a r/ship with me, and had just left me alone.. Feeling of emptiness..

Alas… hope there is someone better out there for me, and find him soon to replace the memories.. I worry about how superficial I hv become, and how I can find someone with such high standards, the looks, the money, the status (without the bad characteristics)… Cannot just settle for a normal Chinese man, I really worry…

posted by Meak Meak @ 6:26 PM