Letter to a 'Good' Fren
Dear V,I thought we are gd frens, but time and time again, i heard upsetting things that u have been saying about me to other people.
Just today, moo told me he heard from a 'mutual fren' about the VAT claim we made during our trip together in Aug. 'mutual fren' said that i did not include urs and mango's purchases for the VAT claim, just cos i have enough spending myself to meet the minimum claim.. Gosh!! how it came across now this 'mutual fren' must have thought i'm such a selfish person.. the only recollection that i could make was that time we were at MBK together.. i walked ahead to the VAT claim counter, & u had to call me back to wait for u and mango to claim together cos u both didnt have enough..
Goodness! such SMALL things happen... u should know by our years of frenship, i could be quite a forgetful person, & admittedly, not considerate sometimes.. but dont u think it's such a small matter to harp on??
Or were u sore about the incident at the airport when me and mango were frustrated with u cos u were convinced that the VAT custom shortchanged your VAT claim.. u were recalculating and recalculating that few dollars that both of us kept imploring u 'never mind never mind' only to have u snapped back at us to 'shut up'. finally we got impatient & walked off to order food... c'mon, if it helped, i would have offered to give up my share of the claim.. but do u hear me talking about this incident to other frens??
Then there was the other time when we had dinner together, think last year, at Jack's Place.. u and your other half were going on about the renovations for the new place, saying that the lights were only paid for with $1200, very cheap.. how u both drove around S'pore to look for the best bargains, how he is a good negotiator..
I commented that i want to order a pool table for my own new place so that our frens can come over to play.. later u told someone that u felt i was bragging! about what, i have no idea... but think about it, bragging is bragging whether it's about being extravagent, or be it about how cheap a deal u can get.. cos honestly, for a while there, u were bragging too.... & i didnt even think it like that until someone concurred with me.. so there!! maybe had i offered to give my VAT claim to u, u would also think i'm extravagent and bragging..
End of that day, it's back to square one.. cos ur contractor (who came highly recommended by his brother) took off with your thou$and$.. think about the implication of that...
Finally, about more than 2 1/2 yrs ago, when i just got to know moo, and u knew him not too long ago, u told him not to get himself taken advantage of by me. at that time, i had just broken off with my ex and moo had become a closer fren to me, always bringing me out for supper and going out together..
Geez, if i dont know any better, i would think he was your good fren more than yours truly of more than 8 yrs now..
What have i ever done to you? u are not me, dont claim u know me 100%. u see, i'm a very literal person, not everyone knows how truly open-minded i can be.. if a guy doesnt tell me out loud that he is interested in me, i will not assume i know.. everything has to be black and white to me.. too many times before, i have been interested in someone, but that someone is not interested in me back. i had my 1st BF at the grand old age of 24/25, hence unlike u, i'm not so smart in that sense... moreover, i was jobless while he was working afternoon shifts sometimes. we both did not have to wake up early the next day so naturally, we could go out for suppers..
At that time, u also told me not to give him the wrong idea if i'm not interested in him back. and i told u the same thing, and how he may not be interested in me in that sense. in fact, i was convinced he was interested in u. u knew him 1st, & he also fetched u to/from from work & buy u food. but did it occur to u some could think that's also a kind of taking advantage??
Do u still rem who was the one who accompanied u to meet all the guys u knew thru ICQ? did i say anything bad to anyone when u were going out with that T guy while still attached? i dont discriminate or discredit u... cos u are my fren..
U are just not the gal i used to know anymore, but despite that, i'm still your fren.. and it hurts me everytime i heard what was said to other frens in our group. no chance to defend myself or give my version of the story. pls be fair, next time if u are unhappy with something about me, come to me first so that i can explain. if not, i wonder how the other gals in the group are thinking about my character.
I know recently, i have less and less contact with the group. u may even think i'm less of a fren, or i dont make the effort anymore. but believe me, i have my fair share of initiating. u have even mentioned before u felt u had a bit to blame cos many times during schooldays , i tried to jio u all out so many times, but i always get rejected. understandably, cos u were attached & i was not. hence now, i've been burnt bad enough by this group to stop initiating outings altogether.. so since now u do not know me as well, i think u shouldnt be saying so many derogatory things about me..
Similarly, if your current circumstance has forced u to be prudent, dont be bitter about it and dont force the same standards on your frens.. u dont have to be defensive about it, cos no one minds.. dont let your need for permanence take away your once independent and headstrong personality. but on the other hand, i beg to defer, u had $$ to buy a LV wallet.
Think now, i will have 2nd thoughts going out with all of you. cos who else, i would earn a blacker reputation weeks or months down the road.
Maybe the person who carried the stories misinterpreted the info, it still hurts everytime that u would mention such things to them. pls rem i dont talk to them as often as u do and i dont know them as well as u do, so when it comes to taking sides or discrediting one of us, of course, they will lean more towards u.
Lastly, your present is mocking at me everytime i see it. i have ripped away the pig called "Peggy" and was going to throw the whole thing away. but before i do that, i just might show it to mutual frens so that they know how a person who can afford a LV wallet could get such a present for a fren of 8yrs.. am sure it's not a deliberate choice but it's sure not a considerate one. cos i have mentioned about the types of present i want, and it wouldnt cost much too.
I hope that i have vented my anger here. and hope i can continue to see u as a good fren. i shall have to protect myself and harden my heart, so in case i hear something else again, i wont be so upset. maybe i have been too nice, that's why pple feel they can get off saying such stuff abt me. in fact, think if i do hear something that's not the whole truth again, i just may give the same courtesy u have shown so far and i wont hesitate to confront anybody to set things straight. eventually i lose your friendship, so be it. who knows, i wont be so heartsore anymore...
Your Truly (as always.)
Meak
posted by Meak Meak @ 7:16 PM
1 Comments:
Dont be sad :(
hugssssssss
Afterall start 2006 afresh
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