The Meak Muses

things we learnt from ah yap, the penang tour guide

went to penang over the weekend for team-building.. one of the local tour guides (we called him ah yap privately, cos he is mr. yap) there was very entertaining.. re-wrote some of the pronunciation in the dictionary lor..

1) hilly = he-li

AY: penang is half the size of s'pore. we have 700,000 people, but s'pore has close to 4mio. about 60% of the penang is made up of he-li areas..

(wah, now our penang geography very good liao..)

2) foreigner = fo-rain-ner
AY: this restaurant is very popular. fo-rain-ners like to come here...

(yap, that's what we are, for-rain-ers...)

3) cabaret - ca-bri-ly
AY: this nite-club has many ca-bri-ly ladies, they can do the cha-cha..

(hee, any relation to cabury chocolates??)

from him, we also learnt a very powderful word, like yesteryears.. also learnt some deep sentences from him..

1) AY: this is a hotel, where people stay..
(wah lau, does he mean there's animal hotels too??)

2) AY: in the olden days, this was a shopping centre where ordinary people go..
(so they have different classes for shopping for extra-ordinary people...)

basically from him, we now that there are now 3 classifications of people in penang ie. ordinary, for-rain-ners, and trendy... cos he likes to refer to yuppies as trendy people.. my colleague, lefang, said that no wonder we dont get to go to this shopping centre, cos we are for-rain-ners, not ordinary and trendy...

sometimes, he has a french accent too..

fren's name is le4 fang1, became 'leh-fang' (strong french accent)... the chendol stall became ze chendol stall..

he said to my colleagues during a stop-over at a chendol store.. "do not 'clutter' at the roadside, cos it is very dangerous." but my colleagues are not chickens lor, they dont clutter...

elsewhere, the english is very powerful too.. saw a banner for a beauty salon.. to emphasize the stubborness of the cellulite, the words used were 'obstinate cellulites'.. the cellulite with an 's' behind.. cos not one mah...

other funny incidents...

drove past a tonic restaurant.....

AY: this restaurant serves v good tonic soups.. aphrdisiacs.. no need tungkat ali.. after he drinks, he will be like bitney spears' 'hit me baby one more time ah'...

drove past UOB bank..

AY: s'pore also has some properties here.. on your right, you can see UOB bank.. so u can go back to s'pore and tell your frens, u saw UOB bank in penang in a very lovely bungalow.. on your right, is the post office..

(wah.... so exciting.. the post office... )

but he is very very nice lah.. without him, the tour would just be another boring one... so kudos to him.... will miss him now that i'm back...

posted by Meak Meak @ 3:59 PM