If I can unwind the clock
8 yrs ago - Taken up dancing seriously, so that i'm gd enough to perform or coach. Realised that this is only the one thing consistent that i like to do.. now, frens of similar interest said my current age is a problem to pursue this, and i'll need to work very very hard.. meanwhile, still need a stable income to support my family..6 mths ago - Would have been more relaxed at his place with him, not so nervous, not so guarded. Less awkard for both of us.. Given a chance now, i'll be more myself. Wacky, flirty, teasy and i hope irresistable..
1 & a half mths ago - same as above. and would have more likely join them at attica too.. even if i didnt, when he asked me the next day, i should tell him i like to go out with smaller group of people whom i know better, then take the opp. to arrange something just for the few of us.. most of them, before i left that night, i should have stopped to say my goodbyes, rather than just disappear.. it seemed rude otherwise. who knows, he may have successfully convinced me to join them there, and keep me company whole nite to keep me comfortable.. cos he sure had been doing something like that that whole nite..
chances missed.. and seriously now, i think we are so over... should i revive it and see where it goes? whilst passing thru my desk, he paused and talked to me yday.. again, i felt the attraction when i thought it was dead since so long he's done nothing.. he said he's been busy, so i jokingly replied 'yah, so busy no time to stop by talk to me." he went 'yah yah'.. caught up with each other awhile, he about his holiday home snowboarding on 2 mountains (he used to teach young children), while i talked abt my CNY..
guess my brain is always a bit slow when it comes to this. before i could think of changing the topic to maybe asking him out, someone came along and hustled him along.. sigh.. and this morning he came into the pantry when i was there reading papers.. he said hi, i said hi back. my mind went blank.. lost chance.. if i'm more streetsmart, would have turn to the movies page, make some conversation about seeing a movie, then from there 'yaddle yaddle yaddle'..
more over he's moving over to another team soon, same floor but on the other side.. so next mth onwards, i wont see him across the room nor at the pantry, nor at the copier.. sigh!!!! life here wont be as interesting anymore...
just 'urgh!' at myself sometimes... just slap me!!!
posted by Meak Meak @ 2:33 PM
1 Comments:
slap slap slap
ask him out then
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