my recent life's like that
You feel as if you have missed out on a great deal that life had to offer and you go about trying to make up for past failures. Naturally at times you get depressed and you try to compensate for your 'missed opportunities' by living your life to the full. This is what, perhaps, may be described as 'living with exaggerated intensity'. In this way you feel you can break the chains of the past and start again - and it could be that you are right.
You are very orderly, methodical and self sufficient. You demand and need the respect, recognition and understanding of all those who enter into your sphere on influence.
You need a friend - a close friend - and you are willing to become emotionally involved with the right person, but you are very demanding and particular in your choice of partners. You are constantly looking for reassurance and it is perhaps because of this that you tend to be somewhat argumentative, but you try to hold back - careful to avoid open conflict - since this might reduce your prospects of realizing your hopes of establishing a warm caring relationship.
Whatever has caused the situation, you just don't seem to be able to sustain or maintain relationships as you would wish to. What you really seek is to be able to develop a relationship with someone with whom you can truly share: Love, Serenity, Peace and Quiet. But you are a very demanding person and it is your nature that leads to disquiet and discord: you are like the tide, flotsam and jetsam... One minute you experience 'highs' and a few moments later 'lows'. This obviously will introduce discord into any relationship and with this demanding attitude - the ideal state you desire is unable to develop. Despite the urge to gratify your natural desires, you impose a considerable self-restraint on your instincts in the belief that this demonstrates your superiority and raises you above the common herd. You are extremely critical of everything that is presently going on around you and you find it difficult to listen to or to take advice from anyone. You enjoy the original, the ingenious and the subtle.
You really like doing what you do and, more than that, you like yourself. Your attitude to work and to life is that 'If it's not fun - then don't do it'. You want to be liked and respected, not for who you are but for what you are - and it seems to be working.
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really find this very true... the older i get, the more i want to get of everyday normalities.. it's like there is some wild inside of me who has laid dormant for so many years, being good, being obedient, and being shy, that now wants to burst out and do more outrageous stuff... more and more frequently, i find myself speaking out, dancing in public, being generally more demostrative and proactive.. cos truthfully, sometimes procrastination sucks..
when time is short, it is really a pain when no one dares to step forward to do it.. i face this most often during work.. it's not that i'm not shy, i'm also a scardy cat sometimes.. but heck! sometimes, u just feel like kicking them in the butt, and asks 'what the h*** is wrong? just get it over and done with.. ' so then find myself taking the lead a lot of times...
yes, i'm very much demanding of the people around me, esp my loved ones.. yes, i do have my fair share of friends.. guess would have more, but i strongly believe in giving and taking.. that's a very impatial side of me.. u give as good as u get.. it takes 2 hands to clap, etc etc.. sometimes, i have the tendency to strike a person out of my contact list if i find there is no reciprocation there esp since if i have taken a lot of effort myself.. maybe you could say that friendship is without conditions, but come on, that's not really true for all...
unable to sustain/maintain relationships... that scares me, cos it may come true yet.. i once mentioned to a gf the shelf life of mst r/ships is 2 yrs, esp jobs.. hmm, think it goes back to the part of being very demanding.. i wonder why i'm still not contented with what i have.. esp. on the bf part.. so loving, giving, caring, humourous, not too bad-looking and good family background.. so what more do i want.. i wonder.. a self-made, worldly one? better-looking, more polish and sophisticated? hmm... do i want the unattainable, the forbidden?
yep, if it's not fun, don't do it.. what's the point of life otherwise? not that you must always have fun all the time lah.. but i do try not to give myself unnecessary grief, esp if work is not involved.. sometimes i get impatient when frens or colls dont dare to do this, dont dare to do that.. lose face lah, pai seh lah... sigh.. you are the one responsible for making yourself happy.. if getting a tattoo, shaving bald and getting a belly button pierce make u happy (but painful!) just do lor... dont care what other people say..
let's all endeavor to take life with a pinch of salt... let's try to break out of our shell.. let's dare!! :)
posted by Meak Meak @ 10:16 PM
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